(Audio Only) Two Marks and a Melodic Mishap

welcome back to another lively episode of A Jolly Good Natter Over Coffee and Biscuits! Join your ever-eccentric host Richard Story and his unforgettable wingman, Mark Cameron, as they shake up the usual routine with a major milestone for the podcast: their very first special guest.

In this episode, confusion reigns supreme as Richard finds himself outnumbered by "Mark 1" and the newly dubbed "Mark 2." This week's guest is none other than London's own multi-talented portfolio musician, Mark Dowling!

Tune in as the trio discusses everything from the realities of running half-marathons in high-end gear to discovering prodigy 15-year-old music students. Plus, Mark Dowling shares a hilarious, unforgettable story about a church performance where the lyrics "falling at your feet" became a literal, chaotic reality.

Finally, the show wraps up with a blind taste test shrouded in absolute secrecy. The guys face off against a cryptic, gluten-free baked good that boasts a citrusy twist. Will they successfully deduce what on earth they are chewing, or will this mysterious snack leave them completely baffled and questioning their own taste buds? Find out if this sweet treat hits the right notes or totally crumbles under pressure!

How does that feel for a bit of suspense, or would you like to drop a few more cryptic clues into the mix?

if you have any questions, you would like us to answer on are next episode or  Send us a email to ajollygoodnatter@gmail.com & @ajollygoodnatter.bsky.social

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

No, no, no, no, no, no. Do not adjust your set. You're in exactly the right place. You have tuned in to the next scintillating episode in the extraordinary series, which is known as A Jolly Good Natter over Coffee and Biscuits, with myself, Richard Story, and my erstwhile companion. Yes, you're right, the one who never forgets his name, and he's about to prove it to us once again. Your name is Mark Cameron. The very same. He always, always remembers it. I don't know how he does it, isn't it? Quite extraordinary. Now, you might think that we always have such a pecked programme for you, every episode, that we couldn't possibly fit anything else in. And I'd be inclined to agree with you, it is quite a packed programme, isn't it? But today we've got a special surprise for you. Not just a surprise, a special surprise, because you know that all the way through these episodes that we've been recording, we've been promising you to have a special guest join us. And today is the day we have a special guest. But before we get to that, I've got something else I've just got to bring to your attention first, because a couple of days ago I happened to be looking out of my window. Because I I do that sometimes. Do you know what a window is, Mark? Just a barrel. Yeah, it's that kind of sort of spacey, spacious bit between the frames, you know, you can see see through. Anyway, you know what a window is? I do, I worry about you constantly. Anyway, so I was looking out of my window, and someone went running past. And it looked just like you. And they were, I mean, not they were running. They weren't just like doing a gentle jog. This looked like a professional run, like all kitted out in proper I don't know, I don't know what the proper gear is, but it looked proper to me. And that's why, if you recall, I sent you a text to say, have you just been running past my window? Because I know you do that kind of thing. Um, and you said No.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

And I said it must be a double double ganger. Double ganger? Yeah, that's right, because it must be someone else. And I can't remember what else I said in the message, actually.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Right. But the point is, if someone else was looking just like you and doing the running that you normally do.

SPEAKER_04 2:02

No, I've completely forgotten. Okay, yeah, never mind.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Well, I could look it up on my phone, but I'm not gonna do that. Um but the point is, if someone else is doing the exercise on your behalf, you could just stay at home and put your feet up.

SPEAKER_04 2:13

Boom, boom.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_04 2:15

Quick sorry though. Yes. Just to let you know, I have signed up for half a marathon now. Have you? How long is it?

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Anyway, I thought I thought they were called Snickers these days.

SPEAKER_04 2:28

They're lovely, aren't they?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

They are. They are they are, yes. Are you sure you can manage a half a one?

SPEAKER_04 2:32

Just about. Anyway, introduce our guests now, anyway.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

Yes, yes, yes, yes. We have um a very special guest joining us today for uh a jolly good matter over coffee and biscuits. Um, and his name is the one and only. You may have seen him on LinkedIn, you may have seen him in the Mozart Bar, you may have seen him concertising in churches and locations all over London. We have with us today the one, the only, the extraordinary and the utterly indefatigable Mr. Mark Dowling. Hello. That that was oh, that was we had a little bit of a mic, a mic malfunction there. Yes. Anyway. Well, at least one of us is paying attention. Right. I do, I worry about you. I do. Now, there is a slight logistical issue here because I, my name's Richard, as you know, but I am now faced with Mark I and Mark II. So this is like the new and improved version. Uh, I think that's the only way we can do it, really. Um so I must tell you that that Mark II, who joined us today for the first time, um, yes, he is an extraordinarily talented musician, plays piano like no one you've ever seen play piano. And I'll tell you, not only, I mean, this is how good he is, not only does he play all the white notes, he even includes some of the black ones. Some of them. Well, a few. Yes, yes. That that's how good he is. Yes, so Mr. Mark Downing, welcome. Thank you so much for joining us. Uh now, I've done a little bit of performing myself over the years, right? And I know that you know you prepare and practice and do everything you can to make sure the the uh live event goes without a hitch. But sometimes things do happen that you know you wished hadn't. And can you maybe bring anything to mind where something happened that, you know, at the time might have been awkward and unpleasant and difficult, but when you look back on it, it was really funny. I mean, did did your the lid of your grand piano ever suddenly come crashing down in the middle of a Mozart slow movement or something like that?

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Something ridiculous happened in uh a church setting. Um, there was a song where it talks about falling at your feet, and I had one of those keyboards that has like the X stands, and um, as soon as I got to that line, he got everyone's worship in as they do in church, and he goes, I will fall at your feet, and I hit that chord, and the keyboard fell at my feet. The stand actually collapsed. The whole thing collapsed, um and I had to continue from the floor.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Good crazy. So you you didn't there was no uh hesitation, there was no faltering in the pace of the music or anything, you managed to keep it going.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Thanks to the guitar, it's really I knew I know those stands, though those X stand things. I always think the ones with just the one brace doesn't look strong enough. I've got one with two of those things, and it does give you a much stronger feeling of uh assurance, really. Fancy. Yes, yeah, yes, indeed. So so so have you done your music practice today, Mark What?

SPEAKER_04 5:23

I have not. I have not, but yeah, what a introduction that Mark got. Why don't I get something like that? Um you gave him a build-up of almost five minutes.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Uh well, it's because I was so excited to have a guest on the show. I mean, you're here all the time. Every time I I offer you the chance of speaking first, but you say, nah, you do it. So I do it.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

But I this this I'm just shocked. That was that was a superb introduction.

SPEAKER_00 5:48

It was. Yeah. It scared me. I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Oh, you're too kind. Well, in that case, I should just carry on and talk more. Yeah, so there. Uh yes. Well, of course, it hasn't given you a chance to ask me what I've been up to this week, but that's all right. I haven't done much this time, so we can move on to something else.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

Well, I was gonna say, let's uh let's just find out a little bit about Mark anyway, because he is our special guest today. So and then we can talk about our week. So, yeah, Mark, just so the guests uh well the listeners actually know a little bit about you. Obviously, you've you've told a funny story about your piano, but just tell us a little about who you are um and what you actually do. And so if anybody wants to, you know, see you on any of these social media websites, just give us give them your contact details as well. That'd be fantastic. Yeah, thank you there, Mark.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Um, we can find me on Instagram at MJD Keys. Um, you can also find uh another thing connected to me at the Dowling Trick, which is something else that I do. Um, so I am a portfolio musician, which means that I don't have just one job, I have many jobs. Um so um for the majority of that that's teaching whole class music, um, and then one-to-one piano and some some performing as well. Oh, the other thing is directing music in churches. So I've yeah, been directing choirs on a Sunday morning, playing the organ, playing the piano. So it's a it's a wide range.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

So quite a busy bunny. I am. When you do your school teaching that you mentioned there, have you ever had any particularly gifted students? Not really. Have you ever had any particularly ungifted students? Yes. Maybe you should have said that because some of them might be listening to this.

SPEAKER_04 7:43

Don't give too much, yeah, don't give too much information out just in case you don't go back to that job ever again.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Don't worry. But this place, this magical land called Witten, and um there's one student there, and he um he can play everything you would do in like the last year of a mass of of a bachelor's sort of recital programme. How old is he? And he's in year ten, so about 15. Which is it's phenomenal. He he practices about four hours a day.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

And when you say he he plays all this you know high high grade repertoire, I mean does he just get through it, or which is a miracle in itself, or does he play it really very well?

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Um well there literally craft, and he plays it very well. Yeah. And is it because he's well taught? I I'd like to think that. Oh yeah. Although I I I inherited him recently, so I've only been teaching him six or seven months.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

So uh so it's not all down to you then.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Well unfortunately not. Uh just when I was getting excited.

SPEAKER_04 8:45

Did you see the improvement over the last six months with um with your teachings or or not?

SPEAKER_00 8:50

I think so, yeah. Yeah, I think I've been able to go in in a bit more detail with him, which is which is great. He has a habit of skipping over bars, but so do I.

SPEAKER_01 9:00

You know, I remember when I was learning, well, one never stops learning theoretically, but I remember back in the early years, I'd go into the lesson and there'd be this feeling that you didn't want the teacher to hear the bit you couldn't do. So I'd walk in there with maybe three pieces that I should have practiced, and she'd say, Right, which one should we do today then? Hmm, let me think. And I'm thinking, don't pick that one, please, don't pick that one. But later on, you know, when you get a bit more mature and sensible, I'd walk into the lesson and the teacher would say, Okay, what do you want to play to me then? And he'd say it to me, and I would say, Well, this is definitely the worst one, I'll play you this. Oh, you see, and then you can get make progress and you know focus on the things that you can't do. It's just interesting how your you know psychology changes over over time. So, had you always known you wanted to follow a musical path, or were there other things that uh got in the way?

SPEAKER_00 9:49

I didn't really want I wasn't really interested in music that at all, actually. Um my dad's a church organist, so he tried to get me to some lessons and I tried this the big word, big tantrums in the mornings and all of that. Um, and then uh I just wasn't really interested. The idea of having to practice and learn all of this weird language called music, and I thought, yeah, I'm not interested in that. So I wanted to be a hairdresser at one point. So I used to get all my cuddy toys together, cut the hair off the lion's neck. But you do have fantastic hair.

SPEAKER_04 10:25

If the listeners can see, yeah, he has fantastic hair. Um I'm I'm I'm unfortunately bored, I should uh nice hat though.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

I almost I almost am bored too. I'll be joining your club soon, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_04 10:36

Yeah, so Mark's just uh his luxurious hair, you know.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

A few more years of teaching will change that, I'm sure. Is it um is it your real hair? It is my real hair.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Did you? You know, I haven't been renting it or something. No, no. No, okay, just shake it. Imagine that renting someone's hair. Yes, you you were saying about about um about your your Oh yeah, you used to j put gel in my teddy bear's hair. Yes. So at what point did you think, you know, I've had enough of all this styling and twirling and curling, and I I need to do some uh keyboard practice instead.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

That didn't happen for a while, and then I went on to wanting to follow medicine. I wanted to go into well paramedical stuff. So yeah, I went to like St. John Ambulance Cadets, and I was really heartset on that because I was good at science as well, terrible at math, but good at science. Um so yeah, but that all kind of went out the window, got fed up with it, and then um I became a really lazy boy. I used to sit at home on the sofa, and my nan said that's not right. No grandson of mine is gonna sit on his sofa for the rest of his life, and she used to drive me all the way to Selsden every Saturday for a piano lesson.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Oh well, good grandma.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Yeah, good grandma.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Well no, this is very interesting, because when I was a nipper, I would never practice what the teacher told me. And my parents, my dad in particular, got so angry with me, why aren't you doing your practice, etc. etc. And it's true I wasn't doing it, but what I was doing was I was saving my pocket money and going down at the local record shop back in the days when you could buy a seven-inch vinyl single, whatever the local the latest you know pop hit was, and I'd sit there and I'd play it to death on the record play where you actually had to lift the needle on the thing. This is before before even cassette tapes, and I'd write down the words and I'd get my guitar and I'd figure out the chords and you know and and learn to play the songs like that. See, unaware at the time that I was actually giving myself a master class in oral dictation, but ah, but you're not doing what the teacher told you to practice, you naughty boy, naughty practice. But I was actually doing quite a lot of musical stuff, um you know, which you know paid off in the end. So everyone has their path to follow, you see. This is true. This is true, yeah. Really good.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Mark one, do you play?

SPEAKER_04 12:50

I don't, but my daughter has got a mini guitar and she really enjoys playing it. So one of our friends gave it to us a couple of weeks ago. So I was actually gonna funny enough to speak to you, Richard, and say, is there any way, because I don't know anything about music at all, um, but is there any way I can put anything on uh her mini guitar to say which notes there is so she can do like is there any stickers or anything like that? Because I don't know, I don't know what I'm doing. But I would love to play a little bit just to help her because that'd be really handy for her, and I think she she's always enjoyed music since she was a kid. But me, no, no, it's never too late to start, true, but as I mentioned at the top, I am practicing for half marathons half marathon, and also I'm editing these podcasts, well not editing, but uploading these podcasts as well.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

So I have a lot of things to do right now, so that is true, but I've seen people in these half marathons going around in fancy dress and all sorts, and I'm sure that with a bit of ingenuity you could put together for yourself a one-man band costume so you could play as you're running around. That's a good idea, isn't it? Isn't it, Mark II? Mark one is momentarily speechless and is still speechless.

SPEAKER_04 14:07

I can't believe I I take things very seriously.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Kazoo. You can have a kazoo in there. Yeah, it's a kazoo.

SPEAKER_01 14:15

As you're running out of breath, you get a great right, so Mark II, you can come again.

SPEAKER_04 14:27

As this is my first half marathon, and it's something I've always wanted to do, so I'm taking this very seriously.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

I've I've got a good idea for a strategy for you.

SPEAKER_04 14:35

Uh oh.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Do you want to hear it?

SPEAKER_04 14:37

Not particularly. Not particularly, but go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Go ahead. Well, you say you're going to run half a marathon. If you if the half marathon that you run is the second half, then you'll have done the whole thing without having to run the whole distance, wouldn't you? Obvious, really. You should ask me about these things. I'd worry about you, I really did. No, anyway, when I'm Prime Minister, when I'm Prime Minister, I'll sort all this out.

SPEAKER_04 15:04

Yeah, your Prime Minister application came in again. I said I told you that they did not accept you the first time round. Now I got he he sent off his application to the um House of Parliament, and unfortunately, again, I've had to put on his reference. I'm worried about his faculties.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Um I think possibly the only thing I need to vary is is who I've asked to be my referee. Perhaps you would do it, Mark 2. Would you be a referee for me to be uh become a Parliament Prime Minister?

SPEAKER_04 15:38

Don't do it. He's not he he would not be good for the country, even for the world.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

Country mascot or yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:47

He can wear he can wear a little outfit, couldn't he? Kids. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Little tutu union jack mini skirt. I think that would suit you, Richard.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

You're very kind. Just remember, I I I have the ability to edit this before it goes out.

SPEAKER_04 16:02

No. Anyway, oh yes. So anyway, yes, what have you been up to this week? Just before we get into the main crap.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Well well, to be honest, I I've been I've been just very much looking forward to to having a having a special guest on on our podcast for the first time ever. And so far it's going all right. You're doing well so far. I mean, you must have been up all night learning all those lines. Well, I certainly was. Obviously, it hasn't worked. We've got so many tangents, don't know why I bothered. Anyway, are you feeling peckish? Shall we do a taste test? Shall we? Shall we do the taste test now? Fantastic. I brought something with me to do the taste test.

SPEAKER_04 16:43

Let's see what Richard pulls out today. Oh, I've never seen this before.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

That's exciting. Right, this is coconut macarons. Made by Mrs. Krimble. I have a suspicion that Mrs. Krimble didn't really make these. I think that's just a brand name.

SPEAKER_04 17:01

Is that her picture on the front, Mrs. Krimble?

SPEAKER_01 17:03

Um, well, if it is, you know some very funny-looking people.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Right, shall I should invite her as a special guest.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Like that. Yes, Mrs. Krimble, um, for the benefit of the listener, Mrs. Krimble's visage is uh is painted on the back of a wooden spoon by the look of this.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Sorry to Mrs. Krimble's grandchildren. Oh, and she's saying something.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

I've just noticed Mrs. Krimble is saying something. She's saying simply the zest boudonch.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Uh yeah, you're got a good rosy cheeks. I'll give her that.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

Yeah. Well, I mean, if if you I'm sure there'll be an address on here somewhere, you could send her a little bit of fan mail if you want. Right, I'm opening it up. Here we are. So what we do, Mark II, is we we each taste one of these, and then we give it Mark for 10, you see, for things like taste, texture, presentation, anything you like, really. There we go.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

And the packaging, what do you think of the packaging there, Mark II?

SPEAKER_01 18:02

So let's try it.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

The packaging. Uh that's quite nice, isn't it? It's a box. Yeah, with a telephone wrapper. No, I quite I quite like it. Mrs. Krimble's quite sweet. Are you talking about the packaging of the um the lemon macaroon? Yeah, anything you're crumbly, isn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 18:29

Yeah, it is very crumbly. I did expect a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Fell on my leg. A bit more of a bite. A bit more of a bite to it, you were expecting. Were you? Or or or what were you expecting? He provides the bite. I know. I don't want to know about your not turning up with you. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_04 18:45

So yes, you can taste zest, but then I don't know, it's it's I just expected a little bit more of the lemony when you bite into it. So you can taste the zest afterwards, but you can't taste it when you first first couple of bites, you can't. Am I making sense?

SPEAKER_01 19:02

You are, and and uh there's not much coconut, I'm not getting much coconut in there either. I can I can feel the texture of the coconut. I can feel the coconut like the little bits, but the actual taste, I'm just getting lots of lemon. What's the solution? Make it more coconut y.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

But what about the zest factor?

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Make it less zesty.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

But Mark wants more zest.

SPEAKER_04 19:28

So I can taste the zest after, so you a couple of bites in you can taste it. But you know, if you if you eat into like lemon curd or something like that, you can taste the lemon straight away. You know, you get that boom. But yeah, but yes, you can't you can get it afterwards.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Yes, I I I I suspect that the um the scores for this one are maybe going to come in on the lower side. Um, I suppose the acid test question is having tried it, next time you're out doing your shopping, would you see it on the shelf and go, oh, I must buy those, or would you kind of look for something else?

SPEAKER_04 20:08

Unfortunately, Mrs. Krimble. I'm sorry to say.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

Eh-yeah, I think out of all the taste tests we've done, I think this one may be the the least impressive. What do you think, Mark 2? Because this is the first one you have, so it's actually the best one for you. No, it's the first thing I've had in weeks. Alright. Oh, they didn't have student grants anymore, did they? Silly me showing my age.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

No, um, I probably wouldn't pick it up again. But if it was at a party, I'd have it.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

Well, yes, yes, as long as alcohol you wouldn't notice, I suppose. Part of a cocktail. Well, I I'll I you know, normally we sort of Thank you for bringing them. You're welcome. Um normally what we do is we we kind of do our marks secretly and then compare, but I'm just gonna you know go straight up and tell you that my score out of ten for this one is five point two five. Oh, that's very specific. Yes, out of ten. It's and that's definitely the lowest score I've given to anything that we've ever taste tested before in these podcasts.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

And yourself, Mark, too? Out of ten.

SPEAKER_00 21:11

I'm quite a generous fellow, maybe six.

SPEAKER_04 21:17

So a six for Mark too.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

It's not terrible, it's moist now.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Yes, yes, yes, there's a sufficient, it's not too dry, that is definitely true. Uh I'm probably gonna go for the suspense suspense mark one.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

Yeah, I'll I'll go for five. It's not that bad, but yeah, it's not yeah, we have some high ratings on it before.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Yeah, what's the um I can see all your uh notes and everything there. What's the highest mark thing we've had so far? Uh okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:51

So I gave the Kinder Brero 9.8.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 21:55

Richard gave it eight, uh, and then the chocolate. The brownies that we had 9.25 for myself. Richard gave it a nine. Uh the lemon sponge. I gave it an eight. You gave it eight point two six.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

What about the um what about the the mint chocolate orange? Because that I remember that scored quite highly. Have you got that anywhere there?

SPEAKER_04 22:23

Was that the first one? I can't remember. I didn't write it. I need to start writing the names of the chocolates. Oh, was it? Oh, yeah, yes. There we go. Yeah, yeah. So nine for me and Richard 8.5. So Rocky Bars was 8.5 and the gold bar. Oh, actually, no, I did 4.5 for the gold bar. Oh. That was my lowest, and you did 5.5.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

Yeah, so it's kind of tying for last place.

SPEAKER_04 22:50

Yes, and the 12. Oh, a 12, 8 for me, 8.75. So, yes, this is one of our lowest scores.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

It's interesting that the two lowest scores are both in yellow packets. I wonder if that's got anything to do with it. Ah, colour psychology. That's why you see it's colour psychology is quite important. That's why you will never see um sugar being sold in a green packet. Because green is a cleansing colour. You see, washing up liquid and washing powder in green packets and things. But um, but sugar you never will, because you know, green is a colour for cleaning things. Just what I'd check out with that. There you go, you've learned something, and there is no extra charge for that. What about white? Well, you can't see the colour then because they put it all in the same colour bottle. Anyway, yes. Now then, dear listeners, if you have any questions for myself or Mark One, or indeed Mark Two, arising out of all the things that you've heard today, or if you've got any suggestions about other things that you'd like us to talk about, or even any other guests that you'd like to have uh here on our podcast, then please drop us an email at ajollygoodnatter at gmail.com, and we have an army of people, all two of them, standing by now to read your messages, and you they will all be read. We can't guarantee that we'll reply to everyone, because after all, you might be sending a message in Swahili that we don't understand, and even Google Translate can't be relied upon to that extent. What do you think? Oh, I have a funny story about Google Translate.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

Tell us, tell us. Nope, it was French, GCSE French, one of my friends was doing GCSE French. Important not to get mixed. And uh he um had to do an oral speaking exam, and so of course he would rather spend his time playing FIFA on Xbox and all of that stuff, and he was like, Oh no, I've got my speaking assessment. So on the morning of the exam, he just typed into Google Translate this whole speech that lasted about five minutes or whatever it was, and he delivered it. And uh Mr. What's his face, the French teacher, um sat back in his chair at the end of it and said, That was really very good. He said, The end trouble is this is a Spanish-speaking exam, not a French speaking exam.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Very good, brilliant, very good. Well, have we got time for one more story? Because I've you just reminded me of something there. Do we have time for one more or not?

SPEAKER_04 25:20

Yeah, we we have a we have a good couple of minutes. What I was gonna say to you, yeah, you you tell a story, and then we need to ask what Mark's been up to this week because you've told what you've been up to this week. Oh true.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

Oh, and let's go for that then, yes, yes, yes, because that's that's much more interesting, right?

SPEAKER_04 25:33

Yeah, yes, and then you can tell your story afterwards because you know, and I can see the eager on your face, yes, but uh unfortunately you're not the special guest today, Mark Touis.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

I know, I'm sobbing deeply into my clinics, but never mind, I'm coping.

SPEAKER_04 25:48

So, as as it's uh record we're recording on a Friday, what what have you been up to this week and what do you have planned for the weekend there, Mark?

SPEAKER_00 25:54

I've just got back from Greece, which is which is very exciting. Um, yeah, spent spent a week in the sun with one of my friends drinking the best of wine, eating lots of veal, and um swimming a lot in the sea, which is it's very hard work. Was the veal cooked or was it still alive? Oh no, it was cooked. Oh, okay.

unknown 26:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:16

Do you have any funny stories while you're seeing Greece?

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Oh on the spot there.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Well, sometimes people have funny things happen when they're swimming, for example. Did anything happen like that?

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Oh wow, uh not in Greece. Greece is very clean, you can actually see your feet in the water, which is so good.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Or indeed, anything else that happens to be there, I suppose.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

Um so I think it was Eastbourne I went to a few years ago, and they had um I'd just gone for a swim. I love sea swimming, and I'd gone quite a quite a way out, and I was just floating and enjoying the waves. And uh there was another guy there, and I thought, oh, another eager swimmer, love that. And he was just floating along with a big smile on his face, and we got chatting, talking about the sea and swimming and things like that. And he said, Sorry, mate, I've got a got a winter up, you know. I've just done a big poo. And um then there were three of us.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

And I bet you're gonna say he hadn't thought to bring his loo paper with him.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

No, I think he was hoping that the British coastal sorts.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Gosh. So since then, have you uh reformed your social circle? Well, obviously have, because you've come to meet with us.

SPEAKER_04 27:34

Yeah, I'm not too sure that's even a better, is it?

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Don't worry about you, I constantly do. Yes. No, very good. Well, well, we're glad you've been uh having fun with all that kind of thing in in sunny Eastbourne. We we feel we ought to utter a disclaimer here and say there are other seaside towns available. Yes. Eastbourne's lovely.

SPEAKER_04 27:53

It is, it is. I've been there a couple of times, yeah. It really is nice actually. It's quite it's not as busy as the other seaside towns, which is nice. Have you been before?

SPEAKER_01 28:01

I I have, and it's nice because you can walk along the um the white cliffs, can't you? Which is which is very nice, as long as you don't go too near the edge, it'd be all right. Yes, although a friend of mine when I went there the last time, quite a few years ago now, he said, I quite like Eastbourne, but I like to give it the name of geriatric city, because it's where all the old people go to retire.

SPEAKER_04 28:20

It is, yeah, you're right, it is totally.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

Anyway, there you go. Well, listen, let me just tell you my my one story I was about to launch into just a moment ago, and it follows on from your tale of your uh your French stroke-spanish exam. Because uh I used to have a great cousin who is no longer with us, sadly, but many years ago she passed away, and she was a nun, and she spent her entire life working pretty much overseas, apart from when she had you know little uh leaves of absence and come home again, um, working in very underprivileged communities in Africa. And she dutifully tried to learn the language when she was um a missionary in Ghana, and she did pretty well at it. But you see, the thing is that there's a certain word in the Ghanaian language for the word table, and one day she stood stood in front of all all of the people and said, Right, come to the Lord's table, because you're going to do communion, you see. Um but the word communion in this Ghanaian language, uh the word table rather, in the Ghanaian language, there's a change of pronunciation that is so slight that a European ear can't detect it. But with this slight change of pronunciation, the word table becomes the word abortion. And she stood in front of all these churchworld people and said, Come forward to the Lord's abortion. And they all went, Oh, and of course she didn't know what she'd done at all. I mean she's a lovely, she was very sweet, and and and they kind of forgave her, and they all came, you know, it was all smoothed over in the end. But but what a what a what a mistake to make.

SPEAKER_04 29:43

I was gonna say hopefully it did forgive her, because yeah, you know, that could have turned very sour very quickly. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Well, I I think they'd known her for quite a while before that happened, so you know. But there was this sharp intake of breath. Yes. See, that's if someone says something and it's just not clear and you go, Oh, sorry, what did you say? But when they say something and you just hear what they said, you don't think, oh, what they really meant was, you just take what they say and go, ah they really say so. A lot of politicians could learn a lesson from that, couldn't they? Yeah, I uh when I'm Prime Minister, I'll keep that in mind.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

What what what would be your main policy if you were Prime Minister?

SPEAKER_01 30:23

Oh, well, the first thing I would do is to reform the English literature syllabus and make sure that everyone That came out nice and easy for you, didn't it?

SPEAKER_04 30:31

Literature.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

Well, it's because it's because you're my pronunciation teacher, that's why. I would reform the English literature syllabus, and I would make it compulsory for all school kids to read every single one of the books that I've written. They are available now from all good all well, actually no, all good, all good online retailers. Or a bar in Annaly. Yeah, or a bar in Annley, yes, yes, yes. And if you go and buy one in there, I'll autograph it for you very nicely.

SPEAKER_04 31:03

And yes, saying about books, Ricardo and Samuel's book.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Yes, now this was the book that I lent to you some time ago, um, and you said you would read it, and have you done so?

SPEAKER_04 31:15

My daughter's actually been reading it the whole well, not all of it. She's read about uh almost half. Because we read a couple of pages before she goes to sleep at night time, and I do have to say she loves it.

SPEAKER_01 31:33

Oh I've always liked her.

SPEAKER_04 31:36

Because she said, well, the first thing she did say when she turned to the back said, Is that Richard? He's got hair as children do.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

How did you get that, Daddy?

SPEAKER_01 31:51

You should go there too. Yeah, I still I stole it off Mark II. I thought that was obvious. Yes, on the back of the book, there is a photo of me uh taken in the days when I I was a bit more um luxuriously uh covered in that particular area. Anyway, I'm delighted that the book is going well, and and I and I hope um uh it sustains her interest all the way through.

SPEAKER_04 32:11

Yeah, so we she really really enjoys it. So what I'm gonna do, I'm actually gonna buy the book. Oh I'm actually gonna buy your other book as well.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Good gracious me, that's fantastic. I've always liked you, despite all the things I say to you about you know the Mike Convaile opposite.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

So I would recommend it to any children out there, um because it has captured my daughter's imagination, and she just wants to know what happens next. Because the way Richard has written the book, it's almost kind of leaves you on a oh, what's happening next? What's happening next? Which is good for because it keeps the children hooked, as they say. So that's fantastic. So we've got past the part where so they've made there's uh the apple pie, apple crumble, I can't remember.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

Apple pie, it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

Apple pie. And so, and grandad's eating the apple pie. So we've got just past that little part section there. So uh, yeah, my daughter just is really gripped with the book, she really enjoys it. She did say, Why is there not enough pictures in here and why they're not coloured? That was the two biggest questions, and this one I did mention to you. I did say children like to have pictures with colours, and that is if you're gonna do your book and get another book, more pictures with colour.

SPEAKER_01 33:32

You're absolutely right, and you can tell her the reason why there aren't more is because it costs more to put them in. But she's very welcome to get her crayons out and colour in the black and white ones that are in there already.

SPEAKER_04 33:41

How about that? Maybe you'll sell more books though.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

Uh well, possibly, yes, but you know, we live and learn.

SPEAKER_04 33:49

Sell more books.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

As I always say, when I'm Prime Minister, I'll sort all this out. Anyway, I'm delighted she likes it. That's very encouraging.

SPEAKER_04 33:56

Yeah, she really enjoys it. So thank you very much, uh Richard, for recommending that.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Well, of course I was gonna recommend it. I wrote it. I recommend all my books implementing. Yes, okay, well, that's lovely. Well, I think we're probably just about up to time there, aren't we? Um, so yes, as always, thanks ever so much for joining us. Thanks hugely to our esteemed guest, Mr. Mark Dowling. Oh, thank you. Perhaps you know, if you can face it, you might like to come and join us again sometime when uh you've had some more experiences in Eastbourne or or or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 34:23

Um yes, just be cautious of the floating men with smiley faces.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Well, yes, and we're not talking about the Mr. Men books, are we? Yes, okay, so Mr. Mark One, do you have any parting words before we leave the list now?

SPEAKER_04 34:37

Uh yes, so be nice to each other and yeah, have a good week, everyone.

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Yes, absolutely do that. And and when he says have a good week, he's not just referring to the next one. It could be a good week anytime when it when it happens to present itself. It's always nice to have a good week whenever it occurs. So thanks ever so much. As always, we'd like to leave you with the quote for the day, which is don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

SPEAKER_04 35:02

Thank you. And yeah, thanks, Mark.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Thank you, thank you, Mark. Thank you. Time to go then. Okay, goodbye, everyone. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, bye, goodbye, bye, bye.